Get Health Mini Course – Support Groups

As a result of watching this video you will 

• Know the concept of the third place.

• Know how to give yourself Support via 1 of 3 journal templates

• Know our top 3 support groups for PCOS, Diabetes, Fertility

• How to make a contract with a friend.

Ok let’s go.

I’m just thinking back to the time when I was working for someone and it was super intense. The days were long and every moment felt like there were 12 other things I should be doing right now. All of them were a reason to fire me if not done in full on time. Often I was doing 2 or 3 things at once.

One day I was just sitting at my desk, alone, quiet and staring forward. I couldn’t tell you if it was 15 minutes or even an hour. I didn’t know it at the time but I had inflicted a mental health problem on myself.

For me, burn out just rises up like a tide. You don’t notice unless you have an external reference point.

Between 1 space of crazy intensity and another 2nd space of crazy intensity is a 3rd place not many people go to.

Dr Adam Fraser defines this third space, as the small gap you go to multiple times a day to

1. Reflect on what you just did – what went well, what did I achieve and how did I get better?

2. Rest – can I be still and present in the now.

3. Reset – How will I show up to what comes next? What mindset is required?

We believe this 3rd space is important for all of us to work on for our mental strength. This is the external reference point to know where you are at.

Recommendation 1: Take lots of regular mental strength breaks in the third space to ground yourself.

At the end of the day or the start of the new day you can ask yourself the third place questions. Or keep a journal.

I’ve kept a journal on and off for years. I like to do it in my note system. I use Notion notes, Jodie uses Apple notes on her phone. 

In my journal there is just a note for each day of the month. 366 of them as Feb 29 comes around every 4 years.

Each day I add this years entry on top of previous years and I can scan down the journal like a time capsule.

There are 3 main formats of journal entries I use.

1st is a standard daily journal covering habits and things I am grateful for.

2nd is an energy based journal – reflecting on my motivation and or energy available to get things done.

3rd is a bit of a first aid kit. I do love stoicism as an operating system for my life, but if I get rocked by a big wave hitting my normally still little pond, then there is a reason I need to reflect on it in a special way.

This third one is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy journal.

The three templates are linked below somewhere.

The whole point of journaling for me is to make the angel on the shoulder talk, not the devilish “resistance” voice.

If you can get your thoughts out of your head onto “paper” then it allows you more time to enjoy the now without noise.

So recommendation 2: Take time daily to journal using your own templates modified to suit what your needs & goals are.

Sometimes you just need to know that others are going through what you are. There are people travelling the same road. Some in front of you that you can learn from, and others just starting out that you can share your experiences with.

My favourite place to go and be inspired is unlikely but it is the r/pcos group on Reddit.

The thing about PCOS it is relentless, a lot like our son’s diabetes. It constantly challenges peoples energy and the fight goes on every day.

There are so many warrior women on there it is easy to get a dose of motivation every once in a while.

There are other forum’s around like the AskPCOS app’s but it’s not really active. 

Years ago we started one PCOS Australia on Facebook but really don’t like social media so didn’t want to promote it. (Let us know if there is a need for uniquely Australian space.)

There are plenty of others already there like the Overcoming PCOS support group that has 105,000 members and 10 posts per day.

Same goes for fertility and diabetes support. When we were learning about type 1 diabetes the facebook groups were so helpful. There is so much you don’t know at the start and so many questions. 

So recommendation 3: Find the place that you like for online support. Make sure you feel safe and respected. Take everything with a grain of salt and do your own research. There is a lot of misinformation out there.

The last place you might find support that is available to most of us, is the closest. Our friends & family. 

Depending on how close and comfortable you are, you have a better chance of achieving what you want to do if you declare it to them.

Good friends will cheer you on, comfort you in setbacks and be there for you. 

You can even go a couple of levels up and make a contract with them as Tim Ferriss suggests in his 4 hour body book.

The idea is, think of the cause you dislike the most. (We hate racism and racists.) Then make a deal with your friend, that if you do not do what you set as a goal, you will pay a significant amount of money to an “anti-charity” that is aligned with what you hate. (Sorry about the politics here but for us it might be Pauline Hanson’s political party.)

Put your name and signature down in writing for extra gravitas.

Make it fun but also real. If you grimace at the thought of it – it’s good.

Recommendation 4: Make a “Personal Commitment Contract” with a friend for consequences if you don’t uphold your part of the deal.

So wrapping up:

Key recommendations:

1. Give yourself the gift of Dr Adam Frasers 3rd space. It is a practice that needs to be practiced.

2. Support yourself through journaling. Get the voices in your head out of them.

3. Find online groups of people on the road with you. Help the ones behind and get support from those further up the road.

4. Make a Personal Commitment Contract with a close friend for intensive but fun support.

This is the last video we have in our Get Healthy Mini Course. 

We truly do hope that this has given you some good ideas to try and it makes a difference for you.

Thanks for supporting us.

Jodie and Ant